Childhood Trauma and the Non-Alpha Male
Grounded in research while using a heartbreaking case study to amplify and support his points, Carpenter makes the argument that men who struggle to fit into the dominant masculine identity have a unique experience of trauma that follows them long into their lives and yet, healing is possible.
— Dan Griffin
Outstanding!
Dr. Carpenter has done it again! This book is both timely and authoritative on the topic of male gender identity formation. He is a true professor in every sense of the word and his current work allows the reader to digest the topic of complex trauma as it relates to the formation of male gender identity on an academic, professional, and deeper personal level. Dr. Carpenter’s critical review of research, examples from over 20 years of clinical experience, and his pushing of the reader to personally reflect pulls the topic together in a masterful way!
— Bowman Smelko, Psy.D ABPP, Licensed Psychologist
Excellent Book!
This book was fantastic in helping me to understand how my childhood and struggle as a non-alpha male are contributing to my present day issues! I can much better see myself as a unique person who has a very individual personality and character. I can allow myself to simply be me and not worry about conforming myself to what society demands me to be!
- Shane Eberhardt
A must read for Wives and Mothers of Boys
Written with such clarify and love. Doug explains each case and scenario with such compassion. The psychology and research is presented in an easy to understand fashion. If you are a mother raising a young boy, I urge you to read this. Parenting is addressed along with examples and case studies. Knowing how our men are the way they are can only help women better relate. Thank you Doug Carpenter
— Heather Morin
All Men Are Men
All men are men. Some men are shamed by both men and women for “not being a man,” either for not comporting themselves as a man who exhibits typical/desirable masculine traits, or who “puts the pussy on the pedestal,” or who carries beliefs and values which are at odds with others, or who either cannot or will not meet a woman’s expectations, etc. They are the so-called beta males (non-Alpha males).
Childhood is the most crucial time in the life of a human being. It is the bedrock of our creative, conscious, logical, and ethical experiences as adults. In this day and age, more and more people are becoming aware that it was the relationship with our parents/caregivers—the intensely focused troublesome aspects of it—which created the most significant levels of dysfunction in our adult lives. We are normalized to trauma. But because it is normalized, we don’t recognize it as such. With trauma comes a loss of feeling, a loss of resilience in engaging with life’s inevitable painfulness. Trauma can stunt growth and development because it can capture a person’s energy and agency and cause them to react from pain and fear. Children are not born embodying maladaptive, inhumane, or anti-social behaviors. They are not born “bad.” But things can go terribly wrong when the needed ingredients for their full flourishing are not in place. A man choosing to live consciously has to contend with how he has been conditioned to live unconsciously. His level of consciousness is negatively correlated with the unresolved exigencies of childhood.
Dr Carpenter's excellent book presents examples of the life experiences of non-Alpha males and offers a path forward which is compassionate and helpful in assisting them on their journey to integrating their past traumas and woundings, so as to reclaim themselves and live their lives more fully and freely.
- Michael Ronin
Author of Modern Masculinity for the Conscious Man michaelronin.net
Insightful and Impactful
If you are a man struggling with past trauma, gender confusion, or toxic shame, this book is a must-read. As a clinician who understands the value of going to the root of subconscious childhood pain points, I found the content of Dr. Carpenter’s book right on the mark. He outlines the importance of proper nurturing in the early development years of a young boy while also pointing out the tragic impacts when this does not occur. With interesting case studies you are sure to see fragments of your childhood on these pages. And Dr. Carpenter all provides 25 steps parents can take to ensure their children grow up well adjusted. I can’t recommend this book enough to those struggling as well as for those who work to bring healing.
— Eddie Capparucci, LPC, CSAS, CPCS Author of Going Deeper: How the Inner Child Impacts Your Sexual Addiction
Secret Shame: A Survivor’s Guide to Understanding Male Sexual Abuse and Male Sexual Development
Complete, Relevant, and Nurturing
As a victim of MSA, I can attest to the incredible depth and breadth of this groundbreaking work. Dr. Carpenter takes the reader by the hand and leads them step by step through every aspect of MSA, providing accurate and complete research, understanding, and ultimately encouragement and steps towards healing. This is a heretofore closed, taboo subject that no one would ever admit existed. Dr. Carpenter methodically examines every aspect of MSA and lays it out clearly before us until it is understood by all. This is required reading for all practitioners, but most of all, for those of us who have suffered with MSA our whole lives and lived in Secret Shame.
Life Changing
The information in this book released me from years of pain and shame. Doug Carpenter brings to light the effects of Child Sexual Abuse, some of which is not well known or understood. We used this book as framework for a men’s retreat for survivors of sexual abuse, and most of the large number of men at the retreat had never heard of imprinted arousal pattern, or “arousal is not the same as desire.” For me, this was life changing, and has brought freedom in multiple areas of my life. I finally got answers that made sense to me after 40 years of questions that were not answered in therapy or personal research. Highly recommended!
Phenomenal Read
Highly recommend for both therapists and survivors. Randall A. Cripe, MA, LPC
Valuable Read
It’s an amazing read! Very informative with valuable information. This is a must read for anyone healing from CSA.
Informative and Impactful
This book was so helpful in understanding men that have experienced sexual abuse and the wounds they carry. Reading it was emotional and insightful. A must read for victims, their families, and medical and counseling professionals.
Poignant and thoughtful
Survivor’s stories mixed with relevant commentary on the topic of shame and abuse is a powerful combination. Dr. Carpenter expertly leads the reader through personal narratives and brilliant insights alongside the academic research and seeming hidden knowledge of the subject. It’s a masterwork told in a way no other author or academic has been able to produce to date. This is a must read for anyone seeking to learn more about shame and sexual abuse.